black lives matter.

“if you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. if an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.“

-desmond tutu

hey, friends.

i’m sorry i’ve been inactive the past few weeks. and after i was doing so well with the whole weekly posting thing! it just hasn’t felt right talking about fashion and college life and my personal (*cough* first world *cough*) problems, especially during these times.

i dont want to reiterate everything that’s going on because, unless you’ve been living under a rock, you definitely know how fragile, polarizing, and controversial the world is. life as all of us knew it, has taken a complete 180.

family dinners have turned into debates over the news headlines. dates with my boyfriend have become rant sessions about how our parent’s viewpoints are different than our own. girls nights have turned into serious conversations about race relations, with an unwatched chick-flick playing in the background. twitter has become flooded with political commentary and polarizing opinions. it seems like the only channel on the television is the news.

and i don’t mind it. i don’t mind it at all. in fact, it’s essential.

let me explain.

when all of this started, i was angry. absolutely outraged. i would cry reading the news articles and watching the news and scrolling through social media because i couldn’t believe how inhumane people are. i read countless stories about people of color being discriminated against because of their skin color, beaten because of their skin color, killed because of their skin color. with each sentence, i grew more and more angry. and more and more compelled to do something.

i told my mom i needed to do something. i didn’t know what, i just needed to do something to help: whether it was organizing a protest of my own in my extremely conservative town, or go to the city to join the protests there–even if they turned violent. i wanted to be on the right side of history. i wanted to make a difference.

and i didn’t want to do it just because it was “trendy” (a girl told me i “wasn’t a real advocate, only when it’s trendy”… i know, right) or the “cool thing to do,” i wanted to do it because it was something that touched me to my core and something that has impacted people i love and care about.

and when i experience racism, i do my best to speak up and stand for my friends in the POC community. have there been times where i should’ve said something? times where i should’ve called someone out? times where i didn’t do the right thing? absolutely.

coming from a conservative town, you experience racism so much that you’re almost desensitized to it. and there are instances where you feel threatened to stand up for what’s right. it’s scary and uncomfortable to be the one person in a situation who bucks up and says “hey, that’s not right” in any issue: gun control, women’s rights, abortion, race relations, the environment. and if you’ve been like me, the one person in a sea of people who vehemently disagree, you’d know how terrifying it is to stand up. because if you do, you’re met with invalidation, anger, and defeat.

but through all of this, i learned that silence is deadly.

back to the topic of wanting to do something and how this whole revolution is necessary: my mom told me something that really stuck with me. it was a quote by edward bulwer-lytton, an english author who wrote the phrase, “the pen is mightier than the sword.”

while i admittedly misquoted it in an instagram post, this quote really made me realize something.

i’m a writer. i’m good with words. and i’ve been told my words mean something to people. they’re powerful. they make people listen. and i want people to listen. so, i posted this on instagram, facebook, and all of my social networks:

i’m white.

well, my mom is filipino and my dad is white but, for the most part, i’m white. i live in a white town, where the percentage of minority citizens barely equal 5% of the population.

so, with that being said, i have never been uncomfortable with the color of my skin.

i have never seen my life flash before my eyes when i see a cop. i have never been the only white person in a classroom. i have never been told my hair was inappropriate for the workplace, even when it was dyed blue. i have never walked past a woman in the street and have her move her handbag to the other side of her body, or have a man lock his car door when i walk by. i have never been afraid in my own neighborhood. i have never been judged in any way for the color of my skin.

i’m white. and that’s a privilege.

as someone who has been blessed to have a platform as a writer, i feel it is only right to bring a light onto the true disease that has battered this country for years. and as a white person, i feel it is only right to use my privilege for good.

for the pen is stronger than the sword.

it makes me sick to see how people treat each other. to see people justify an innocent death and look at the reaction with disgust. people are still so full of hate and bigotry, and the people protesting are not the ones destroying the country, but rather the people who stay silent, neutral, and have hate in their hearts. and i, for one, refuse to stay silent.

i refuse to fight when it is convenient, but because it is my duty.

as a white person, i have no idea what it feels like to be black. i can be angry about all of this, but at the end of the day, i have the privilege to return to living my life as a white person. and if that isn’t privilege…i don’t know what is.

i am encouraging you to use your privilege for good. to not stay silent, but to accelerate the conversation and find ways to help. do not ridicule others if they simply share an instagram story, for at least they are involved in the spreading of the conversation. love each other and care about each other. fight racism, abuse, bigotry, and hate with knowledge, peace, and united with others: a house divided cannot stand.

“i am not black but i will stand with you.

i am not black but i will fight for you.

i am not black but i will defend you.

i am not black but i see you.

i am not black but i value you. “

while protesting and posting on social media does wonders for the movement, the only way to ensure that this systemic injustice will not occur in the future is education.

hatred and intolerance is learned and taught. anger and polarization is learned and taught.

it is up to our generation to stop the cycle of learned racism. we have to educate ourselves on what we can do better to stop the hatred in our society and be an ally to the groups that need it. we have to educate those around us on the importance of loving eachother despite race, gender, sexuality, religion, and any other factor. we have to stop being “not racist” and start being “anti-racist.”

we have to educate our children on history, and teach them to be peaceful and accepting human beings. for if history is not taught, it is bound to repeat itself.

sign petitions. write. make art. debate. protest. educate those who are both younger and older. have the hard conversations. be an advocate. teach peace. be kind. make a difference.

be the people who are on the right side of history.

while the state of the world is polarizing, it is more important than ever to talk about it with others. for the more you talk or white or post about it, the more conversations you’re creating, and the more these topics will be brought to light.

it is okay to be upset. but it is not okay to be silent.

i hope that you choose to educate yourself, educate others, and join the fight against injustice for humanities sake.

“in a gentle way, you can shake the world.”

mahatma gandhi