i know! i know! i haven’t been around in a hot minute. please forgive me…i’ve been more addicted than ever to streaming services, cheese-its, cooking tik toks, and buying mass amounts of clothes that i won’t be able to wear anywhere for the next few months.

if you knew me before second-semester-of-college, i have two things to say to you: 1) i’m so sorry and 2) i have always been obsessed with clothes, fashion, and style.

this fashion obsession led me down very dark and regrettable stylistic paths (julianna’s schoolgirl-blair-waldorf-inspired preppy era circa. 2015). each year of my life was a different fashion identity crisis…making my current closet a hodgepodge of collared blouses, skater skirts, flannels, ripped jeans, blazers, and a few ponchos.

however, my love for fashion got lost around the same time i did (refer here for the full story). i felt horrible. and in turn, i looked horrible. i wore sweats daily and stopped caring about expressing myself through my clothing. but in a way, i was. i felt so sad and alone that i literally looked the part: a depressed college student, desperate for acceptance in any form.

so, yeah. i guess you could say i wasn’t looking my best.

that is, until i finally moved out of my apartment, made new friends, and started to actually like myself again. and while this was wonderful, it brought out a dangerous demon within me: my shopping addiction.

and with quarantine becoming more boring than ever, this addiction has spiraled out of control. i mean, every single store i know has been having massive online sales. i’m talkin’ 60% off denim, free people jeans for $25, free express shipping on all orders $40 and up…online stores have become my version of a virtual las vegas.

i receive packages daily. today, i went outside to receive a shipment from asos and my mom asked me “is buying clothes all you do?”

why yes, mom. it is.

and while my bank account is absolutely suffering, my love for fashion is healthier than ever. not just because of the wonderful feeling a new pair of bellbottoms gives me, but because of my recent rediscovery of one of my favorite shows: that 70s show.

i have always loved that 70s show. in fact, hyde was one of the first male characters that i felt…attracted (?) to. i mean, come on. that curly hair? the wonderful personality masked behind a bad boy attitude?! i digress.

anyway,

as a little girl, i never realized the absolute style these characters had( like i said, i was far too distracted by hyde). in fact, i turned my nose up at the bright colors, funky accessories, unique silhouettes, and the overall fun aesthetic of 70s fashion. in my eyes, 70s fashion meant metallic unitards, culturally-appropriating afros, and hideous platform boots. and while i love a good unitard, as i’ve grown older i’ve discovered that the 70s were an iconic era for fashion.

looking at photos of faye dunaway, stevie nicks, farrah fawcett, and that 70s show‘s jackie burkhart, my eyes were opened to a whole new take on 70s fashion. and for the first time in ages, i found a style that made me feel like myself again.

and in buying these vintage and retro inspired pieces, i started to grow more and more excited about putting together outfits to wear around my house. seriously, i think i put on a “fashion show” for my mom, showing off my ~groovy~ finds, probably twice a week at this point.

this whole fashion rediscovery has been more than just wearing cute clothes, it’s been a bright light for me during this horrible, dark time. as a full-time student and freelancer, i understand the struggle of staying in and having no motivation to work. it sucks. but it doesn’t have to.

wearing clothes that i feel good in has honestly saved my quarantine experience. i get excited to get out of bed and throw on a pair of funky bellbottoms or chunky sandals. and i feel good about myself doing it.

but most of all, i’ve rediscovered a love that i haven’t exercised in a while. something that makes me happy and something i can see myself being involved in for a long, long time. while my ultimate dream is to write the next horror classic, i’ve found myself striving for a second goal: to work in fashion.

whether it be writing copy for a big brand, or even just writing about my quarantine-fashion-dreams from my desk, i found something that’s making me feel better. and i think that’s pretty cool if you ask me.

and with that, i’m excited to start (yet another) new chapter. i want to explore this new passion of mine through writing about my online store finds and making youtube videos about my obsession with clothing and…really anything that makes me happy.

i may not be the next style icon, but that’s okay with me.

but what’s not okay, is my unhealthy hoarding of bell-sleeved tops.

i simply must be stopped.